It was always the becoming he dreamed of, never the being.
“
| — | F. Scott Fitzgerald (via fuckyeahfitzgerald) |
“So many people at college were jacked up on ambition, possessors of steroidal egos, clever but cutthroat, diligent but insensitive, shiny but dull, that everyone felt compelled to be upbeat, down with the program, all system firing, when everyone knew, in his or her heart, that this wasn’t how they really felt.”
—Jeffrey Eugenides, The Marriage Plot
I always feel like I’m struggling to become someone else. Like I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it’s part of growing up, yet it’s also an attempt to reinvent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself of everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself- as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go, I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I’m still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I guess that lack itself is as close as I’ll come to define myself.
“
| — | Haruki Murakami (via venre) |
